My Transitioning Emotions

After spending most of today day in a complete chaos with my conscious, I came to realize how low people can be.

I view friends as an intergal part of my life, they are like family to me. Today, I learned first hand how people can take that kindness and respect and turn it against you in the heat of the moment. No matter who I have been friends with, I've always held all our friendships in the highest regards and respect.

As I sit here still feeling extremely guilty, everyone who I know from under the sun and moon have left near threatening messages or hostilities towards me. I thought my friends were going to be a little more mature about dealing with my immature actions. No, they responded with immaturity right back at me.

Funny how accusations and blame were flying everywhere before either Alexi and myself had the opportunity to speak to each other.

While I was at work this morning, I decided to check in on my VW Club Forum for new discussion topics. Low and behold, I find this:

http://www.vwdov.ca/forum/showthread.php?threadid=96987

Individuals who I deem as my close friends were posting crap about what had occurred or attempting to defame my character. This just compounded on top of my pre-existing upset feelings which just turned into anger. It was friends admitting that they have been talking smack behind your back. Name calling, racist remarks and also labelling me as having a split personality disorder.

Just for my records, I've decided to cut and paste some of these quotes so I never forget that it happened.

"Alexi, remeber those conversations we've been having about the "double personality" wow!"

"However, it sucks that you are impressionable and cannot clue in to the fact that 'Hey, maybe I shouldn't push this car into the middle of the road because the fat china man thinks it'll be funny.' Be it known, if you or Rob ever fucked with my shit, I'd rip your balls off and if Alexi asked me to, I'd do the same for him."

"What did you and your clan of followers do to Alexi's car? Completely uncool Rob. I think you have split personalities, you go from a good friend to doing something like this. Alexi was VERY upset and after hearing about it and that you had a role in this made me upset. Come on Rob.....get a grip."

After speaking to other individuals who were present during the incident, I've gotten to know the real story.

I guess friendshipis not comparable to family. Family does not intentionally make highly offensive statements re: race, and humourously labelling mental health diagnosis directly to hurt someone's feelings. I guess some of my friendships are as thin as water.

Funnier yet, Alexi came over to my home this afternoon to work on our friend Dejan's car. He agreed with me that there was no hostilities between us, he never was directly upset at me as I didn't mastermind the incident. He had already blown it off. Apparently our mutual friends decided upon themselves without knowing the full story and place full responsibilty on me.

This absolutely disgusted me. However, I now know where I stand with these so called "close friends".